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Dreaded Plateau

May 14, 2012

I used to be a skinny kid.  I swear I was.  I still don’t really understand why I am not a skinny 40 something.

The problem with insulin resistance, which is what I think contributes to my being decidedly un-skinny, is that it makes losing weight harder than it ought to be. I have been working so hard that I really should be invisible by now.  That’s my running joke and everyone laughs, but I have to say, I really feel it.  It’s unfair to work so hard and still far exceed a healthy BMI.

I have worked with a dietician and followed all of her advice.  My diet is really very good.  I have eliminated so many foods that I am a pain in the neck to have for dinner.  I get lots of well-meaning advice from friends.  “Are you getting enough healthy fats?” they ask.  “Are you eating lots of vegetables?”  “Are you cutting out fast food and processed foods?”  Yes, yes, yes, and yes to the rest of the good advice.  I have taken multiple allergy panels.  I have done cleanses and addressed possible candida overgrowth (which did not show up in my tests, but which we did just to be sure).  I have used herbs and supplements and worked with my doctor.

But if you pick up a book about insulin resistance of pre-diabetes or any other related condition, you will read that this is all my fault.  That I MUST be doing something wrong, like eating a “traditional American diet” with all of the trappings of obesity and heart disease.  (FWIW, my lipids and blood pressure are excellent, and I do not have any of the other plagues of the “traditional American diet,” which is to be expected since I do not eat such a diet.)

But there is a strong cultural perception as well as a medical philosophy that blames me anyway.  “I didn’t just sit on the couch eating potato chips while I was pregnant,” I once heard someone say in reference to why she didn’t gain much weight while gestating.  Dude.  I have not sat on the couch and eaten potato chips in more years than I can remember.  I haven’t even eaten a flipping potato chip in years.  Nor do I get to sit on the couch most days.

Once doctor who was helping me with orthodics said, “We need to get these to work for you so you can do some walking and lose some weight.”  I was already walking 30 minutes a day every single stinking day, even with pain in my feet.  And I will tell you that 30 pounds lighter and doing more like 8 miles every single day, my feet still bother me, even with those orthodics.  But he must have also assumed that I was sitting on the couch with said bag of chips all day.  Because that’s what moms do.

After all of this hard work, I am still struggling because I have hit a plateau that has been mine for months now.  I find myself frustrated, wondering why my body doesn’t respond to the good things I do for it.  I even blame myself.  I must be doing something wrong.  But what?!

I am exploring different directions and I suppose that there is an opportunity for me here, to learn something, to grow in some way.  Though I would not mind suddenly having my results match my efforts.

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